“You Have to Laugh at Your Own Jokes…

Because sometimes no one else will.” I have to admit that is from the movie Marley & Me, but it’s always just stuck with me. It has come to my attention that a lot of people blogging have been their angst and passive aggressive thoughts and some downright mean things. I hope not to do that; I have a moral compass in the form of my best friend. She usually stops the bad ideas, but no one’s perfect. I tend to end up doing some dumb things anyway. I tend to keep making mistakes to be sure that it really was a bad idea. I’ve learned recently that my own Jiminy Cricket is mostly correct in her conclusions.

That being said, I will do my best to just make you, my devoted, fun-loving readers, laugh and keep coming back to see what I will come up with next. If I’m feeling too angsty, I won’t unload on you, I promise. I have a nice pleather journal; it gets the brunt of the emotion. All of you will just get my wonderfully witty and colorfully comic side. That’s the one I like to show the most.

Best Thing I Have Found on Stumbleupon.com

This is an article by a woman about things that have stopped people from committing suicide. Please, oh please don’t think that I am a morbid human being that reads suicide stories for fun. That’s not my hook. These are very well written and touching stories. Who knows? Maybe I just saved your life by telling you to read these.

http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/347FA0/www.cracked.com/blog/8-tiny-things-that-stopped-suicides/

*SPOILER ALERT* #1 just goes to show one of the many examples of why dogs really are the best animal on planet earth.

True/False is a Science

I’m pretty for sure that the True/False portion of any test is enough to give every student a nervous shudder. There is tooooo much chance involved. And right now I know you are saying, “No way, True/False is easy. There’s a fifty-fifty chance that the answer is going to be right.” To those of you who thought that, you’re dumb. The True/False portion is when teachers like to get creative. There is a science behind True/False questions. The statement is only true if EVERY SINGLE DETAIL IS TRUE. Otherwise, the statement is false. Now I know teachers like to say that they don’t try to trick you, but they lie. Seriously, they do, and I’m not trying to offend any teachers (Mrs. Limes, you are great…see what I did there. Haha). I reread True/False statements about six hundred times just to make sure I get everything I can out of the sentence(s). These sections on tests tend to lure students into a false sense of security, and they might go ahead and mark true even though part of the statement is in fact false (which makes the whole statement false). See it’s a science; one tiny little word can make the whole thing false. My advice: read it multiple times, and if you start marking a bunch of them as true….start freaking out (you probably have reason to). Also, pay attention to every, all, and almost; those are the kicker words.

That Party Last Night was Awfully Crazy.

Oh, wait. I didn’t go to a party last night. I wish I was able to say that I have been out getting jiggy with it night after night. However, I have been in my room. I have never regretted something this much in my life. I’m supposed to be having the time of my life up here and the most exciting thing that has happened was me getting almost concussed because of a dumb game where you have to spin around and jump over a shoe. I’m jonesin’ for a good time. Honestly, if I would’ve known this would be the outcome, I would have definitely rushed last week. As it is, I’m going to stick it out until Christmas and Spring Rush. Now, granted, I should be focusing on my schoolwork. This would be fine, if I did, in fact have schoolwork to for me to focus on. I know that it has only been a week, but I’m quite possibly be the most bored I have ever been... ever. In all this free time I probably should have been looking for  job. That way when I finally get a chance to party I can support the habit. In my time, I have been people watching. Now, that has been interesting. I’ve never in my life seen so many people that were different but the same simultaneously. More on that will definitely come later.

My Favorite Dog is Buried in the Yard

This past Sunday, August the twenty first, my family and I said goodbye to our beloved dog Mindy Patrick Moriarty (no judging; I was three when we got her). Mindy, or Minder Bear/MB, was a good pet; the best ever, I’d care to wager. She was fourteen years old when she passed. It was completely natural and, from what I can gather, peaceful. I was unfortunately not able to be her when she was buried in the back yard under her favorite bush. MB was a quiet dog and the best huntress of our little pack. She was buried in her bed with her Grateful Dead leash. A more loveable dog would never be able to be found ever. She was soft and would always welcome a good belly rub. Minder Bear could sit and shake and roll half way over on command. She loved to play wall ball with me. I’m pretty sure she would get disgruntled when I would only let her have the ball for like a minute after she got it. Minder Bear will always hold a dear place in my heart as my first pet. The love in my heart for that precious mutt will never be replaced.

Finally, I Come with a Warning Label

I have no misguided intentions for this blog. I do not expect to be a TT, nor do I expect for anyone outside of the realm of people I know to read it. I am just a girl from a small city who has an opinion about…well, just about everything. If you ask some people (ahem, Kangelina Bohnson) part of my charm includes my articulately formed, sarcastic opinions that make themselves known with no regards for anyone’s feelings. I do, however, possess the tact to avoid ripping someone apart on the internet, for the whole world to see. I’m opinionated, not dumb. Every single name has/will be change to protect the identities of the idiots I encounter everyday.

p.s. I have been told that I have the mouth of a sailor. So, if you have virgin ears, I suggest you abandon ship right now.

p.p.s. As I am still in my late teens (yes, I know I need as many prayers as I can get) and will be talking about things that are reportable throughout my day, this blog will include much teenaged angst/hilarity.